The best gift I’m giving this year

Why Christmas movies give the worst money advice

In the opening scenes of White Christmas, it’s 1944 and Europe is in ruins. Bing Crosby is huddled with his fellow troops behind the front lines of World War II as cannons and bombs explode in the distance.

Less than two hours later, the movie ends with Bing and Danny Kaye at a Vermont inn performing a huge song and dance number with their new sweethearts. Snow is falling in the background and their beloved general’s resort has been saved from bankruptcy.

From Rudolph to Home Alone, the essential message of Christmas movies is that everything works out in the end.

In It’s a Wonderful Life, George Bailey was so worried about money that he threw himself off a bridge. He returns to his house to find a town full of admirers singing “Auld Lange Syne” and dumping cash into a collection bucket to save his hide and the bank.

3,000 years of history as interpreted by Party City

Even in my Judeo-Christian-Buddhist household I love Christmas movies, but that’s not why I’m writing this post.

I’m writing because many of us are actors in another movie, written and produced by credit card companies and retailers in which the moral of the story is: Don’t worry, all your holiday spending will work out!

With our hearts and wallets open, we get the message that only the Scrooges and Mr. Potters of the world are counting their money.

Exhibit A: Every Hallmark movie ever made, in which the heroine decides to leave her big paycheck or rich boyfriend for the small-town hunk who teaches her that money isn’t important. What’s important is finding love and finally opening her own bakery!

But at the same time, holiday shoppers in the U.S. are planning to spend $1,100 on presents this year.

31% of 2024 holiday shoppers who used a credit card are still paying off the debt.

So which is it…? Is money an important part of the holidays or should it be left outside, like a pair of dirty boots that we dare not track into the house?

When most of us grow up seeing that money is stressful and should be avoided in conversation, why would you want to bring it up during a season of ‘magic, hope, and light?’

Exhibit B: my unsold screenplay, A Very On-Budget Christmas.

Many of our most memorable Christmas grouches are obsessed with money. In Elf, James Caan isn’t able to love his elf-ling son until he learns to put family ahead of his big job and salary. To spell it out further, Christmas is the time of year where we can finally rise above the petty concerns of paying attention to our spending. You know, don’t be a Scrooge.

But can’t you see that this directly benefits MasterCard and Klarna and all the other companies who want you to take a seasonal shopping spree?

When I was a waiter, we loved a table where the wine was flowing because they would order more food than they could reasonably eat and a big check was sure to follow. This is us. Drunk on the holiday spirit, millions of consumers will bestow gifts on their loved ones with the hope that all the bills will get sorted out in the end.

I wish we could rewrite our script for the holiday, while keeping the yule logs, Mariah Carey, and Hallmark movies.

I also appreciate how the holidays invite us to step out of our comfort zones. We are offered a chance to transcend our usual self-centeredness and share something with loved ones. We are asked to stop hoarding our resources and to somehow, unbelievably, find good cheer during the coldest, darkest time of year (up here in New York at least).

But there’s a difference between opening up to the love of a handsome single dad who owns a toy store in a Hallmark movie and opening a credit card with Target, thinking it will all work out in January. And maybe it will. But the way we are discouraged to take care of ourselves financially during the holidays causes real problems and stress.

Instead of a pressured scramble to answer the question, What should I buy?

The greater question is, What is my money for?

It might be to buy Legos and Weird Al Yankovic tickets for your kids (shhh!) this holiday season, but it’s also for your rent, utilities, and taxes. These different parts of you have to live together in one beautiful spending plan.

And if you’re thinking, “Cool, thanks for sending this out three days before Christmas.” Don’t beat yourself (or me) up. I went overboard on gifts this year as well. It’s easy to do, which is sort of the point.

As with all personal transformations— and getting good with money is one of them— you can’t define yourself by a single moment or slip-up. Very healthy people take days off from the gym. Stephen King has turned out some real bad books, but is still a legend.

So take heart and remember that one concrete way to take the stress out of holiday spending for next year is to start putting the money aside way earlier. Think of your holiday costs like a subscription that you pay each month, and by December you’ll have a fat pile of spendable cheer.

I’ll close with a message that must have been cut for length from every Hollywood Christmas movie.

Being good with money isn’t a bummer, it’s a net positive in your life.

It’s as wholesome as a Hallmark movie, as transformative as a visit from the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future.

It changes you and opens the tap of goodwill and generosity in a sustainable, healthy way. You can give without depleting, be merry without worry.

Thanks for being here this year! Wishing you a cozy, restful end to the year, and I’ll see you in 2026.

— Dan

Author’s note: A careful reader and big fan of It’s a Wonderful Life correctly pointed out that actually what compels the despondent George Bailey to jump off the bridge is seeing Clarence in the water below. Thank you to Melissa and all the guardian angels of this newsletter!