“Next month, I’ll be better with money," and other lies I’ve mumbled to myself

Part 4: The Perfectionist’s Guide to Getting Good with Money

Next month, I’ll be better with my money, you whisper to yourself as you click the “Confirm Order” button. You said this last month, too.

At this point, you’ve said it so many times that you’re pretty sure you’re the hopeless case, doomed to be bad at money for the rest of your life.

This all-or-nothing thinking—next month will be completely different—is destructive for anyone, but especially for a perfectionist. Perfectionists need a lot of reassurance and confidence that they’re on the right track. This helps us soothe a core belief that we’re not enough.

Charlene, one of my colleagues here at YNAB, told me when she started using our software, it led to an unexpected discovery:

“I was trying to be ‘perfect’ with my income, but that was an impossible task given the amount of student loan debt I had and my goals for my money. So, I sought out part-time remote work that I could do while maintaining my day job.”

She began working as a Seasonal Support Specialist at YNAB back in 2016 and now she’s the People Ops Lead here.

By paying attention to your money, you might start seeing that something bigger needs to change.

When Charlene asked what her money was for, she realized she needed more of it to reach her goals. This was not her original plan, but she came to the process ready to learn instead of judging herself for not having it all figured out.

If you have the mindset, “What can I learn?” you’ll naturally start getting good with your money, the same way an athlete or musician optimizes their performance by paying attention to the little things.

You’ll learn what spending brings you joy or regret.

You’ll learn to live in balance with your income.

Speaking from experience, it’s hard to know how you actually want to spend your finite amount of money, until you’re seeing trade-offs like paying off your debt or going on a vacation.

Like a toddler learning to walk, figuring out what you value can be a messy, sometimes stumbling process. Only you can decide how strongly you feel about the $15 Boar’s Head sandwich or visiting microbreweries or how warm to keep your house during the winter.

But if you regularly give every dollar a job, you will find out what your money is for. And it’s the finding out part that I find the most exciting.

The perfectionist inside of you may be trying to turn money into a test (that you’ll probably fail.) But money isn’t a test and there is no teacher’s manual. Process goals and little wins will give you the reassurance and confidence that you’re on the right track.

I recommend starting with a simple, proven process goal: every time you get paid, give every dollar a job. It’s the most transformative money habit I’ve come across.

And remember that everywhere you look you’re surrounded by a lot of learners 👋

I’d love to hear from you:

What are you in the process of finding out about your money right now?

Until next time,

Dan