9 Comments
User's avatar
Rudy49's avatar

I am in the same camp as Hillary and Ashley (and now Julie), if I can't afford it I don't lend it. If the person I lent to does not pay me back, I very likely will not lend to them again, even if I could afford it. If the situation is that they really need the funds then it becomes a gift.

Dan Cayer's avatar

This would be a good practice for me to try. "If I can't afford it, I don't lend it." Getting to work with my own fears/stress about not getting paid back. Appreciate your comment on generosity.

Kate's avatar

With my pals we often go out for dinner in big groups. Most of us have some kind of credit card that we are collecting points through, avios, whatever. So we normally take it in turns to foot the whole bill, get the points then settle up later on whatsapp. We've got a nice in-joke to remind people who haven't paid about "sending the boys round". Lightens the mood when you have to chase! Totally agree about agreeing splits up front (especially if some people are drinking but not everyone!). Also splitwise is a godsend for group trips and who got what 💰

Dan Cayer's avatar

Splitwise has come in handy many times when me and my (fellow humanity major) college friends take trips!

Rachel Raz's avatar

I never would have perceived this situation as a 'conflict' whatsoever.

Quite the opposite, my friends would feel terrible if they didn't pay back, so I'm helping them out by sending a reminder.

Dan Cayer's avatar

That's a good situation, Rachel! I grew up in a household where talking about money was fraught and so I sometimes need to wade through some nervousness and confusion to say a natural thing.

Julie Way's avatar

I don't have this skill 😅 I'm with Hillary on this - I lend money assuming it won't be paid back and don't lend if we can't cover it. I have not really ever NOT been paid back though - it sometimes just comes MUCH later!

Dan Cayer's avatar

Okay, I have just discovered a possible ulterior motive for the people that don't pay you back…https://www.threads.com/@james_grissom/post/DUmctxTjeNV/media